sad and mad

I really wish I didn't have a soapbox. Really. I wish I was passionate about only Jesus. That I didn't have things in life that offended me to the point I get vehemently upset. Stuff, that in eternity, probably won't matter a heckuva lot.

But I do. I have soapboxes. One comes up more than the others. One that puts me at odds with family. Close family. Not My Beloved or my kids but close still the same.

My mind-button doesn't need a big push to set me off. Apparently, all I have to do is come across, by accident, a website ~ a tiny little tap of my button. No one forced it on me. I just saw it while searching Google. I just wanted to find out what Jesus called Himself. Names of Jesus. And instead I'm hit with firey words bashing my solid, passionate relationship with Jesus.

As if He's not a real person to interact with. That the only way to be a 'mature' Christian is to think and act this way. THEN, you're really something. That there won't be ebbs and flows, mountains and valleys, because it's all about 'book smarts'. All about knowing it in your head. And, I don't agree.

I've known 'it all' in my head since I was about 9, after giving my life to Jesus at age 7. And I loved Jesus and clung to Him through my teen years. But it wasn't until about 8 years ago that a passion, a beautiful passion, began to fill my life for Him. And now I'm desperately lost in love with Him. I've experienced His touch and I'm ruined for life. Nothing satisfies like His touch.

And I guess anything that belittles my love affair with Jesus makes zeal rise up in me. It's not just about me and Him. It's a zealful sorrow that these people ~the many Christians that only know Jesus by words on a paper~ will never experience the true, passionate love of the Creator of the universe. They don't believe in experiencing Him, so they never will. They're lost in a religion of history and words on paper. It makes me sad. Sad and mad.