life 'philosophy'

I have about 3 different trains of thought right now. (Can you hear 'em? choo-choo....) Anyways, maybe I can merge them without them colliding or maybe I'll end up with one pulling forward. Here we go...

As I was skimming through a website yesterday I began formulating, in my mind, our philosophy (term used loosely) on raising our children. I pondered several of the books that I've read in the last year and what I've treasured in my heart as truth. The crazy thing is, what I know as truth in my heart, does not always come out in my actions. I hate that. (Yesterday, my actions were proof of that.)

The phrase 'they know better but they don't know God' keeps coming back to me. I'm determined to, by God's grace, make sure that this does not happen with our girls. I would love for them to live perfect lives, ones untainted by the 'big' sins. I would love for them to each find a husband that has been raised in a Christian home and has served Jesus his whole life. But not on the expense of not knowing God.

Lately I'm realizing that we really come to know God when we need Him. And we need Him when life is not perfect, comfortable and, let me say it, safe. Let me play with scripture a little - hopefully I won't be condemned with heresy or anything like that.

"If my girls are home-schooled their entire lives and wear only dresses.
If my girls never view a television program,
especially anything produced by Disney.
If my girls never express a dissatisfaction with my 'parenting methods'.
If they never date a young man from outside my church.
If my daughters read their bibles and pray every day
and memorize every quotable scripture.
And know not God - my parenting was in vain."

And I mean it. That other stuff makes for a pretty picture and wow's the Christian-ese but it's not for real. I'm asking God for grace, if life is messy, that it'll be OK - as long as my girls learn to know Him.

I think too many Christians - me included- live lives where we really don't need Him thus we are not growing in knowing Him. Yeah, when finances get tight, we realize we need Him. But I'm afraid that we've equated a 'mature believer' with one that is independent. Only problem is that means independent of Him. Wow, scary stuff. I want to need Jesus - to really need Him for everything I do.

I don't want to get so good at doing life on my own - even a good pastor's wife life - that I don't recognize that I really need Him. I will never get so good at not sinning or so wise about life that my need for Him decreases. I just want to recognize that as truth. I think we would all say that we need Him but our lifestyles really display something different.

So to my girls:
Yes, you will be a part of ministries that are not perfect.

You will be surrounded by unbelievers at times.

Even more, you will be surrounded by believers that do not have the same 'worldview' (puke) as you do.

You will find yourselves with an opportunity to do the wrong thing, say the wrong thing or watch the wrong thing.

Those moments may not come today but they will come. But it's in those moments that you will find what a big God you serve. It is then that He will be glorified. When you find that you can stand, not in your own strength, but in His. That you can truly live in the world but not of it. You may not always feel safe in this world but you can always find refuge in our Rock. Lean on Him. Trust in Him. Learn to know Him. He is God, you are not.


And so that's kind of a messy, llllooonnnggg, posting of my thoughts. Two of my trains atleast. Happy Sunday, ya'll!