Actually I know the answer to my own question. Repentance simply means to turn and walk the other direction. Like you've been headed one way (sin) down the road but you acknowledge you're going the wrong way and turn around and head the other direction (obedience). But man, I hate it when I blow it. Yesterday was such a day.
In the morning I dropped all children (mine plus one) at school and headed to the coffee shop to wait the half hour before my tanning appointment. The shop is quite small (though very hip) and hearing all conversations, I gathered that one of the elderly gentlemen in the shop had lost his long-standing job at a community restaurant when the restaurant lost their lease a few months ago. He seemed quite down and complained how difficult it was to get another job, especially at his age.
I listened as I read and it wasn't until about just minutes before my scheduled appointment time that I felt a prompting to ask the man if I could pray for him. This is not a normal mode of operation for me (ashamedly) and I talked myself out of it, since I didn't want to be late. I left but when I arrived for my appointment, someone else was tanning and I had to wait about 8 minutes.
After I waited and then had my time in the hotbed, I was feeling really crappy about not obeying. Really crappy. I decided to head back to the coffee shop and hope the man was still there. (Though I was terrified to actually walk up to this stranger) He was gone. Gone. I'd blown it. Big time. I ordered a latte to take home to Mitch and left.
If I wasn't feeling guilty enough, I looked back over the morning events and realized that God had orchestrated the whole morning. It wouldn't have mattered if I'd been a couple minutes late to my appointment because the salon lady had made the mistake of not looking at the appointment book before letting someone in the tanning room. A God-mistake.
All I can do now is realize my disobedience. Thank God for His mercy. Pray for the man from afar.... and ask for grace to obey next time.
Saturday, January 12, 2008
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about me
- javamamma
- I'm passionately in love with Jesus. He overwhelms me. I'm outrageously in love with my husband of 11 years. He stole my heart. I'm giddily in love with my kids. They make me laugh.
7 comments:
hey there... I am back after a forced break due to broken computer. It was kind of nice. Kind of.
I skimmed, and it sounds like you have been busy but have had a great break with your kiddos.
God's grace is a beautiful thing. It makes you want to be closer than ever to His plan...
Been there done that. Thankfully we serve a God of grace and mercy. Becoming more like Christ and learning to obey the first time is a lifetime en devour. We are all a work in progress. God is so gracious when we repent. He an amazing God.
May you walk in his conviction and not Satan's condemnation. Have a blessed day.
Shari
I pray that God would give you the ears to hear His voice and the courage to obey him.
So hard, I've been there, so easy to talk yourself out of such situations.
But at our house we say...delayed obedience is disobedience...as a reminder that the time to obey His voice is now.
The good news is that your heart is soft and He will speak to you again...can't wait to hear about it!
Praying blessing over you and your spiritual ears.
Hugs (((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))
Kimmie
mama to 6
one homemade and 5 adopted
Yep. pretty much.
Thankfully, from my vast experience of opportunities-missed, I find my resolve to "do it next time" gets stronger. Because I HATE feeling like I've let down God and missed out on an opportunity to see Him move. More than I hate the possibility of embarrassing myself.
I can relate... oh boy can I relate. I'm still haunted by images of a stranger... a teen girl crying in a parking lot, and my little daughter telling me that I needed to go tell her about Jesus.. as I drove away. It rips my heart out to even write about it.
I like what Shari wrote. I can trust that while I failed God, God didn't fail that girl... and THAT gives me peace. ~Karlie
Good stuff for me tonight, friend.
I can't tell you how many times I have done this. I too, like the comment that God will still take care of that person.
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